


Dave Strider...the School Slut, In Love?!

by koujadickcosplay



Series: The School Slut [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, English accents, First Loves, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Memories, Mental Institution, Notes and Roses, Sadstuck, Smut in 2nd chapter, Suicide, Texas, human stuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-26
Updated: 2014-10-26
Packaged: 2018-02-22 15:16:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2512328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/koujadickcosplay/pseuds/koujadickcosplay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave Strider is the school slut, he has slept with half the guys in the school. He then meets the new transfer, Karkat Vantas, he falls in love though he doesn't know it...Karkat falls in love with Dave as well and they have their first date because of a bet. A couple of months later Karkat tells Dave his feelings, Dave doesn't say anything but beds Karkat like he wanted to ever since he met him about a year ago. Karkat has a life-time history of self-harm, depression and suicide attempts and thinks that Dave has just used him when one of Dave's *old* lays tells Karkat the truth about the young Strider. Karkat feels like he was used and avoids Strider. Karkat then takes his life. A couple of hours later, Dave comes round his house, with a note and a simple rose. Planning to leave the note on the table for his boyfriend to read later, he comes across a note left to him on his bedroom door, he then finds Karkat's body and ends up in a mental institution, where all that runs in his mind is the memories of his and Karkat's life together and the regret about not telling the young Vantas sooner and also, he can't remember what Karkat looks like but he keeps seeing a messy black hair urban eyed boy every day in his room.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting the New Kid...

**Author's Note:**

> I am terribly sorry for this Sadstuck...just...it came to mind at some point tonight and I really wanted to write it...and I cried all through writing the first chapter...
> 
> Through out all this story I listened to a Sadstuck : Nepeta and Karkat : Kiss It Better  
> its an amazing song, but really depressing..

 

When I first saw Karkat Vantas I didn't think much of him, I mean, he was nothing special to look at. Well maybe he was pretty cute in a chubby trying to hide it way. But he was modest, shy and a great person to be around. It was a normal day the first time I saw him, I was a couple of weeks into my new year at school, year 10 to be precise. And God knows I was bored. So I decided to do a bit of awesome pranking on some people with my best friend to help me out. His name was John Egbert, and he was amazing at pranking. The Prank King was his name throughout the school and I loved it when we went on a pranking spree, even pranking each other was great fun, the best fun. Well, we had just started out creating a fun prank to pull on the boys. We had stuck cling film in the toilets on the male toilets, and we were just waiting for the victim to come along. Sure, it was the oldest prank in the book but it was a classic. We were waiting outside the toilets as a couple of boys walked in, we chuckled as we waited and sooner than thought we heard a couple of screams coming from inside the closed door and we burst into fits of laughter. It was great and then they came out of the toilets. All glaring and red faces of embarrasment. Me and John decided to bail then, we ran through the halls and I slipped on a banana peel that John had deliberatly put down for someone else to run into, I flew right into a kid. He screamed and dropped all his books as we collided. "Shit...sorry..." I muttered still laughing hard.  
The boy flushed brightly and shook his head "I-Its o-okay..." he stutters and I stand up all cool like and grinned at him.  
Holding my hand out to him he took it nervously and I pulled him up, can't help but noticing how cute he actually was.  
"You're the new kid right?" John asks as he stops to help, collecting the sprewn books and handing them to him.  
He nods slightly and takes his books back in a flurry. "Y-Yeah..."  
"Something begining with a K right?"  
"Korban?" I offer totally helpful to the situation.  
"Karkat..." He mutters.  
I was use to weird names at this school, but that was the strangest by far. "Karkat?" I muttered trying to get my head round it.  
"Y-Yeah..." He keeps stuttering and its cute as fuck, I might as well not deny it because its bloody obvious.  
"Well nice meetin' you." I grin devilishly and turn to see the Year 11 boys shouting and coming after us in anger before I grab John's hand and we run towards the exit.

After we were safe I laughed brightly and collapsed on the soft green grass, I would never admit this to anyone, but I like being in the sun and being in nature, it made me feel pretty secure about well...fucking everything. John stares at me and smiles brightly, I think its safe to say we were shit happy that our prank worked.  
"So thats the new kid huh?" I say thoughtfully, my mind going back to the adorable Karkat.  
"No Dave..." John snaps at me.  
"No what?" I ask totally innocent.  
"You know exactly what, and don't you dare."  
"But why?"  
"Because your already known as the school slut. At least leave him alone."  
"Nope sorry, already undressed and fucked him."  
"Fuck sake Dave...he's just a kid."  
"So?"  
"And he might not even be gay?"  
"So? Bisexual then."  
"Dave...not every boy at this school will fall for you."  
"Then they aren't human."  
"I didn't."  
"That's why we're friends stupid."  
"Dave...your pathetic you know that? And don't call me stupid."  
"Your only saying that because I have had a lot more than you'll ever get."  
"Just because I don't go around practically advancing on anyone, doesn't mean-"  
"Means I will always and forever get more than you."  
"-Mean that I won't get any. And plus you know, I'm straight."  
"So then bed someone already."  
"No."  
"God your boring."  
"Whatever."  
"Fine...but at least let me try on the new kid?"  
"Dave, I think you would try anyway, no matter what I said..."  
"Right. So give up and save your breath."  
"Fine whatever...sorry Karkat, I tried."  
I laugh at that last statement and go back to staring at the sky.

The rest of the day blew past in a blur and I wish I could have slowed time down anyway, I wanted to see the new kid again. But I didn't and the only reason the time blew past was because of my inner thoughts about bedding Karkat, the thoughts got me rock hard and by the end of the day I practically ran home to sort out my little problem. I don't really remember what I did to make myself satisfied, But I think it involved me undressing completely, grabbing my bottle of lube and my dildo...and then I came very hard shouting Karkat's name and imagining his cute face scrunched up covered in my come. And wow, was that hot. But I did get interupted by my Bro, which did piss me off and all I did shout at him.  
The next few days blew past with nothing happening and no Karkat. But then there was Friday, and a certain PE class was in session. The bell rang for the day to begin and I made my way to PE, which a certain little cutie was already there in a corner all alone getting changed. My heart raced at the sight of him and I walked over all cool-like and shugged off my school jumper. Karkat jumped at the sight of me and I liked that, he was in the middle of removing his trousers and I got hard again, more hard this time as I was actually seeing him remove his clothes and show off his beautiful white skin. But I removed my eyes from his body to his arms. He arms were covered up with bandages. I knew better than to ask about it at that moment and I still had to say hi to the boy.  
"Hey." I grinned at him with my usual flirtacious smile. "Remember me?"  
He nods slightly and quickly pullls on his PE shirt which was a plain black v-neck sweater, before going back to changing his pants.  
"So...whats that on your arms?"  
He flushes brightly and I knew I brought up a touchy subject.  
"I...erm...have weak arms" I knew he was lying, but I didn't question it.  
"Oh okay...same, well more like eye-sight. Thats why I wear these." I pointed to the aviator shades on my face, and this was a blatant lie, I had perfect eye sight. The only reason I wore them was because my eyes were a hideous colour of red. I mean, I loved the colour red. But not for an eye colour.  
I didn't get a respond and then I noticed he was putting on his shoes and I wasn't even undressed yet. I pulled off my trousers quickly, standing in only my underwear, my hard-on pure for the eye to see, and a lot of my previous lays were staring and swooning which I couldn't help but chuckle at. Karkat thankfully hadn't noticed yet, it would be embarrasing if he saw, so I quickly pulled on some red jogging shorts and then a red shirt with a printed image of Finn and Jake from Adventure Time, because that anime is seriously amazing.  
Karkat smiles slightly at my shirt "I like Adventure Time too.." I hear him whisper and I grin brightly, liking the fact that we had at least one thing in common.  
He was short, black messy long hair, deep urban brown eyes and pale skin, English accent and wore lots of black. While I was tall, bright red eyes hidden by black shades, tannished skin, styled blonde hair, Texas accent and I wore lots of bright colours and images printed on my shirts.  
"So, wanna be my partner today? We have to do Tennis today." I ask brightly and to my happiness he nods.  
"Yeah...please..." He timidly says and I grin.  
"Great! Well come on then, if we want to get the good rackets."  
I noticed that a lot of the other people in our class weren't dressed yet and I took pride in that, I was usually the last to finish changing, so therefore hanging around Karkat was a good influence on me, even more the reason to hang around him. We got the Tennis courts and I grabbed the two newest rackets there and I hand one to the small kid. The teacher gave some smartass comment on how surprised he was to see me out first. So I gave a smartass comment back. Karkat laughed slightly and I practically melted at the sound, I could seriously listen to that sound for the rest of life and I could also get off on it as well, but I wouldn't tell anyone that.  
Going to the end Tennis Court and began a couple of practise hits before we started a serious game. I saw a side of Karkat I never knew the shy kid had, competitive. So I grinned devilishly and purposely missed the next hit. Going to pick up the ball I called Karkat over leaned in close to him.  
"Want to place a bet?"  
"B-Bet?" Back in was the stuttering wall, but hey, I wasn't complaining.  
"Yeah. Lets see...if I win this round, you have to spend the whole day with me tomorrow."  
"And if I win?" Suddenly the competitive kid was back and I could have laughed.  
"I'll let you pick that. Deal?"  
After a couple of moments he nods "Deal." I winked at him and moved back into postition while he moved back to his side of the court.  
"Ready?" I say loudly, thankful for the shades on my face because the sun was out and hot, how the fuck Karkat would wear a sweater in this heat was beside me.  
He nods slightly and the game begins.

After half an hour later the class ends and I was victorious. As we walked back to the changing rooms I was already contemplating what was going to happen tomorrow. I knew that I needed a lot of vital information for tomorrow and I was going to have fun finding that out.  
I got dressed quickly and put on some Lynx deodrant that was called Apollo. It smelt amazing and I sprayed it on my bed at night so I could sleep in the enticing scent. I offered Karkat some which he took graciously and put on a small amount, I could have laughed at how cute he looked as he grinned at the scent of it.  
"So. Karkat." I smiled as we walked to the school grounds for break.  
"Yeah?" He asks peering up at me.  
"I need to know some things." He flustered at that point and stared at the ground almost embarrased.  
"Like what?"  
"Well since I am reining champion of our competiton, which means I won, our little bet, is now in place and happening. So I need to know where you live, your phone number, your email and your Pesterchum Handle. You know normal things." He seemed to dramatically calm down, boy this kid is weird. I knew that if I didn't want to get in his pants so much, I wouldn't talk to him.  
"Oh...well 69 Alternia Road, 019-473-983, [KK@hussie.com](mailto:KK@hussie.com) and carcinoGenesist" Karkat answers them all at once.  
"Hold on, let me get a pen...right again?" I ask and write down the informatin on the back of my hand to be transfered to paper later.

Lunch soon ended and before I know it I was back in my bedroom getting myself off to another image of Karkat, thankful for no interuptions from my brother.  
I chuckled to myself as I grabbed my laptop, the latest model in Sburb which I saved ages for once I found out they were releasing a new model and I also sold my last once once I got the new model. Going onto Pesterchum I searched up Karkat's name and added him instantly, which he instantly added me back. My heart started beating as I typed out a message. It was the first time I have ever had my heart beat fast and my stomach flip. And I wasn't sure what to make of it, but I shrugged it off.

**_~~ TG began pestering CG at 6:09pm ~~_ **

_TG: hey vantas_  
_TG: its dave_  
_CG: HI DAVE_  
_TG: wow use loud words for a quiet kid_  
_CG: HUH?_  
_TG: doesnt matter_  
_TG: so tomorrow?_  
_CG: OH YEAH..._  
_CG: WHEN DID YOU WANT TO MEET ME?_  
_TG: how about i go round to your house at say..._  
_TG: 10 past 11?_  
_CG: 11:10?_  
_CG: SURE_  
_CG: WHAT WILL WE BE DOING?_  
_TG: something awesome and ironic..._  
_TG: how about we go to town?_  
_CG: DAVE..._  
_CG: I DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR THAT..._  
_CG: AND I DOUBT MY BROTHER WILL GIVE IT TO ME BECAUSE HE'S BROKE AT THE MOMENT_  
_TG: kay_  
_TG: ill pay_  
_CG: I COULDN'T ASK YOU TO DO THAT_  
_TG: your not asking_  
_TG: im offering_  
_TG: well im not offering_  
_TG: its going to happen_  
_CG: DAVE...I..._  
_CG: THANK YOU_  
_TG: no probs_  
_TG: shit bro is calling me_  
_TG: see you tomorrow and possibly call you later tonight_  
_CG: OH...ERM...OKAY...NIGHT_

**_~~ TG ceased pestering CG at 6:18pm ~~_ **

I knew I was coming on a bit strong, but I seriously wanted to meet this boy and I seriously wanted to get in his pants. But anyway, I went to see what my Bro wanted.  
"Dave, I know you've had your eyes set on this boy from school."  
"So?"  
"Well. I just wanted you to take it easy."  
"And how would you know this?"  
"John told me."  
"Oh...fucking Egbert..."  
Even though he swears he's straight, I knew better. I knew him like a sock and he was gay for your bro. He would bend at every word my bro says without question, and my bro knows this.  
"Take it easy how?"  
"Don't get to pushy with him okay?"  
"Whatever..."  
"I mean it Dave...the last thing I need is for another class mate of yours to call rape okay?"  
"That was one time!"  
"And it won't happen again okay Dave?!"  
"Fine..." Bro was angry and I didn't want to annoy him even further so  I sneaked back to my bedroom where I stayed, restraining myself from calling, messaging or emailing Karkat. Instead I busied myself with homework, which was fucking boring.

Saturday me and Karkat had a lot of fun. We went to town, watched a movie he had been wanting to watch for ages, some sappy chick flick and it was so cute when he stared crying at the end because the girl commited suicide because she felt her lover didn't love her back. Quite literally this girl, Sandra was at school, met her lover there and it didn't go any further than friends for them even though she loved him back then. Years later they meet and she still had the same feelings for him, she told him after a couple of months of them going out but he didn't say anything and for the next couple of weeks he didn't say 'I love you' or any shit like that. And then she commited suicide when that very same day he sent her message saying how much he was in love with her and wanted to marry her.  
Now bare in mind it was sad, but I wouldn't cry over it because things like this don't happen in real life. But Karkat was a real mess over it and I put my arm around him and hugged him and told him everything would be okay. It actually felt nice to care for someone and I would have done it day after day for the rest of my life and I knew that and would be unashamed to admit it.  
We then had lunch at Burger King because that's where he wanted to go and then we walked around for a bit until he saw an advertisment in a comic store window about Adventure Time plushies being sold and I took him inside and brought him Marshall Lee, the gender bend version because he was his favourite character. We then spent the rest of the day wandering around and having a laugh. I guess you could have called this our first date. And it was a beautiful date one of which I wouldn't have changed a second of.


	2. Finally a couple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat and Dave are finally going out, but Dave can't bring himself to say what Karkat does.

Our life had quite literally been like this for a couple of months now, and I even asked Karkat out on a proper date. This was so different from me. I usually fuck them and go, but Karkat, well he was very special but I didn't know how much he meant to me - which was a fucking lot. Karkat smiled at me as I walked up the path to his house, we were going to be officially boyfriends as of this day and I was glad for this. It meant that I could be commited and didn't need anyones critism anymore. I took his soft warm hand in my own and together we made the half an hour walk to school. It was a peaceful chilly morning and it was Friday. This meant that my boyfriend was going to spend the night over, and then I will finally bed him. I couldn't wait for this, being as he was a virgin and I would have been his first. It was exciting and I couldn't wait.  
By now I knew about Karkat's past but sworn to secrecy by him. I knew that he had self-harmed himself and is still doing so, which is why he wears the bandages on his arms. I told him that I would stay by his side no matter what, that I would support him through all his bad days and good days. He then told me about him being suicidal and I said pretty much the same thing, I mean, what else could I have said? I told him about my red eyes and my low self-esteem because of it and he told me that he would help me over come my self-esteem issue. I guess you could say that me and Vantas were closer than twins. We shared everything with each other and kept no secrets. And tonights going to be one special night that I will remember for as long as I live.  
Everyone looked at me and Karkat strangely as we walked into the school grounds that day, hand in hand and it wasn't long before rumors to spread, Karkat did have a panic attack in the middle of the day. I sat with him and petted his hair and held him close until he felt safe enough to emerge from the male toilets. After that he was better for the rest of the day and I was glad for that, I hated seeing him like that and I remember hoping that I would never see him like that again.  
To the end of the day I finally ran into my best friend. Me and John had a laugh while Karkat was reading with his headphones in.  
"So, you two are finally together then?"  
"Yep."  
"And?"  
"And what?"  
"Don't be coy."  
"Fine...no" I lower my voice "But hopefully tonight."  
"Seriously? Tonight?"  
"Yes. Why problem?"  
"I was hoping we could spend this weekend together...I mean I missed you during the 6 weeks."  
"I know...but now I have a boyfriend, but hey, your still fucking the best partner in pranking crimes and I would never pick another bro."  
"Really?"  
"Yep, all I need is you in the bro zone."  
John smiled at that and I was glad I made him smile. "So, when are we going to prank again?"  
"How about...next Friday?"  
"Promise?"  
"Promise." I laughed and so did he, we hugged tightly before school was out and went our seperate ways. Karkat and me on the way to my home, and John to his.

As soon as we got to my home I called to my Bro to tell him we were home which was resulted in a half gesture from the couch being as MLP was on. I laughed slightly and ran up to my bedroom with Karkat following close behind. I shut the door and turned on my light. "So, I got a ton of these chick flicks you like. Is that okay?"  
Karkat rumeges through the pile and smiles satisfied. "Yes." He grins and hugs me tightly. I sighed and kisses his forehead.  
He stares up at him and I finally plant a soft kiss on his lips. It was our first kiss and god was it epically special. I could have gone on kissing him forever, but I had other plans for the night. I lead him to my bed where we both lumped onto it, our lips not breaking once. It seemed he was waiting for this just as much as I was. I grabbed his hips and dragged his body onto mine so he was straddling me and I gasped slightly as I felt his erection strained inside his jeans and my own brushed against his which made him purr slightly. It was the most beautiful sound ever, if not surprising because I never even knew this noise could come out of him. And I could have listened to it again and again and not get bored, much life his voice and his laugh I guess. We both stip in seconds and our lips are connected once again, he flushes slightly because of how chubby he is compared to me. But I love every inch of his body, I had seen him naked before by accident. We were round his home and I walked in on him getting out of the shower. The sight of Karkat all glistening wet and dripping with water made me rock hard and I had to hurry out of the bathroom in embarrasment. He was absolutely beautiful and I wanted him to know it. I kissed every inch of his body, or I would have liked to anyway, but my cock wanted me to do something else and from the small sounds Karkat was making in my lap, he wanted it to. And I was more than happy to oblige. I pinned Karkat down onto the bed and presses our lips together once again, he still had his bandages on and I respected that, but I took my shades off for this very special occasion and I knew that he couldn't tear his eyes away from mine, and the fact that my emotions were on full display for him to see was actually a big turn on. I couldn't help myself but stare down at him for a couple of moments to devour his beauty locked away for my memory. I knew at that moment that what we had was special and no one could ever take that away from us.  
"D-Dave..." he whispers.  
"Mmm?"  
"I...I'm ready..."  
I give a nod and whisper "So am I..."  
I run my fingers across his pale skin which makes him shiver slightly and moan and I glow in the aftermoments of what I just made him do. Pulling his body close to mine, our erections rubbing agaimst each other I pushed our lips together, the feeling of our members against each other felt nothing but perfect, right even. Like it was meant to be. Karkat gave a little purr as if to say 'are you going to do it or what'? I chuckled as I leaned across him and grabbed my lube. I laced my middle finger with it and put a drop or two at the enterance of him which makes his breathe hitch at the coldness. It warmed up quickly and he relaxed again, I slowly pushed a finger inside of him and his back arched and he yelped loudly in pain. I pushed our lips together to quite him a little bit "I know.." I whisper to him "But it will feel better soon, just trust me." He nods his head in pain and squeazes his eyes shut keeping the rest of his body loose and relaxed as well as he could. I ran my free hand through his hair and kissed his perfect lips before slowly pushing in a second finger and this time he tightened up, yowling in pain but I soothed him back. I then pushed a third in once he gotten adjusted. He practically screams but I muffle the sound with my lips against hid and soothe him back to relaxation and soon I'm slowly fucking him with my fingers with him moaning softly, his erection already dripping and bobbing back and forth with my slow, thrusts. "Are you ready Karkles?" I ask and he nods slightly before another moan escapes him. I slowly take my fingers out of him and lube up my dick I wasn't too big but I wasn't small I was about 7inches and Karkat was a close 6.7 inches. I just wish he wasn't so beautiful and perfect, because if anyone else got this body I would be upset and who knows, because of how gorgeous he is, he will get a lot of men and women after him. But haha, this boy is mine sorry. I then place the tip against his enterance and he breathes deeply and slowly as I slowly push myself inside of him, he bears it and takes it. As soon as I am all the way in he whines in pleasure and all I can think is 'fuck he's a tight fit, its beautiful'. I wait a couple of moments for him before I slowly start to move.  
The sounds he makes is enough to drive me crazy as I slowly move back and forth in rhythmic thrusts inside of his tight asshole. I moan loudly, I don't care who hears and I don't care how much I loose my cool, all that matters to me is fucking him into oblivion. Which I doubt my little Karkles would mind. The young boy clenches tightly around me and fuck does that feel good. I grab his erection and slowly start to pump him in time with my thrusts. I add a bit of pressure around him and he seems to love that, so I do it again and again. My hips thrusts a bit faster and I feel myself getting close to my orgasm, but I knew by experiance it was better to let the other come first. But fuck it, I want him to feel me shooting my come into him. I lean over his hot body and push my lips to his and as I am kissing him, entwining our tongues I go over the top and shoot my load deep inside of him, I know he can feel it because he purrs and makes other little hot and adorable noises. I continue to pump his erection as my body has a wave of numbing sensation wash over me. He lets out a short warning as he's about to come. With my quickish reflexes in bed I quickly lean down, my mouth over his tip and I gulp down every last drop of the delicious milk coming from him. I then lap at his tip which makes him keen under me. A  hand plays with my hair and I don't break eye contact with him. I finally drop his cock from my mouth and kiss his lips gently. He yawns loudly and holds me close to him. I nuzzle his cheek and we fall into a deep sleep, I feel safe in his arms and will never forget the warmth that washed over me while I was engulfed in them.

It was Monday too soon, we had spent the whole weekend having sex and it felt fucking brilliant to have sex with a total virgin. On the way to class this morning though Karkat shocks me with something I never thought I'd hear "I love you." He purrs and all I can do is stare at him him shock. But thankfully the bell goes and I kiss his lips and hurry to my class. I wasn't ready for the 'I love yous' yet, it was way too soon. I mean sure, I was in love with him but I wasn't ready to admit that just yet.


	3. Karkat is Dead...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat has killed himself because he felt he was being used and Dave keeps failing on ending his own life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gog I am so sorry...I can't stop crying..

It was Wedsnday and Karkat had been avoiding me, mainly because of the 'I love you' incident where I didn't reply back, I know it hurt him but I would make it up to him tonight. I was going to surprise him. Right after school was out I hurried to the boutique near my home and brought a beautiful yellow rose. I knew that yellow roses meant eternal love and I couldn't wait to give it to him, but I also wanted to give him something else. So I ran back home, with the rose and stormed into my bedroom pulling out a piece of paper I started to write

_"It took seconds,_   
_only seconds to see,_   
_your beauty,_   
_your kindness,_   
_your honor,_   
_and I have to say,_   
_That moment when I slipped,_   
_and fell into you,_   
_I fell in love with you as well,_   
_I have been in love with you ever since that day._

_I am in love with your laugh,_   
_Your eyes,_   
_Your smile,_   
_Your face,_   
_Your cute voice,_   
_Your personality,_   
_And I love that your mine,_   
_I will love you forever._   
_Karkat,_   
_As I said,_   
_It took seconds"_

_Karkles,_

_I know I didn't tell you I loved you at the moment you told me, well thats because I wasn't ready to tell anyone. And you kinda caught me off guard with it. But I know thats no excuse. I know how hard it was for you to say that, so I should have been prepared to say it back. How about, I tell you about my past today huh? I mean, I think you deserve to hear it and deserve to fully understand why I didn't say  'I love you' back. And well, now I am ready. I will tell you every day from now on, and will tell you how beautiful you are every second I breathe. Because seriously, Karkles, I am in love with you and want to marry you...so please...Be mine forever?_

_Dave < 3_

  
I smile as I finish writing and put it in an envelope before quickly changing and walking friskly to his house, not even bothering knocking because I knew his brother and sisters weren't there and I knew that Karkat was most likely in his bedroom I cross the landing and find a note addressed to me on his door. I pick it off and smile slightly and begin to read.

_'Hi Dave..._

_Well, I guess I finally gave up, well if your reading this I must have. I mean, you don't love me back, I get that. And I must have been stupid to think that...but someone over heard me saying I love you...and well, they took me aside and told me everything about you...about how you had sex with almost half the boys at school...and that you left them...so I guess I was one of them boys...no one special right? Well I kind of guess this a goodbye Dave...I couldn't deal with being one of your many lays and it hurt that you couldn't even bother to tell me. I hate myself for falling for it Dave...but what hurts the most is that I actually fell in love with you. You took my virginity and I didn't want anyone else to take it...the moment I layed eyes on you I loved you, as you fell on me, I fell in love...and I hate myself for it so much...well Dave...bye I won't be a problem in anyone's life anymore...I love you..._

_Karkat'_

  
I pause for a moment trying to take in all what was said and then my eyes grow big and I suddenly remembered what he said about 'self-harm' and 'suicidal past'. I shove his door down quickly with one hard kick and the sight that allay in front of me made me feel sick. I screamed and ran to Karkat's emotionless body. Wrapping my arms around him I shouted at the top of lungs his name, trying to get him to wake up, which deep down I knew he wouldn't. My hands were covered in his blood and so was my clothes, his bandages were off and I saw the extent of the cuts on his arms, his arms were muallered, I couldn't make out what was new cuts and old, he was still bleeding rapidly and his body was going cold. I saw a sharp kitchen knife used for cutting meat in one of his hands and his eyes were closed, his skin even more pale, from what I could past the blood. I continued to scream, tears streaming down my cheeks and it soon started to sting, but I didn't care. I held his body close and cried to my hearts content at his dead body in my arms, and it was all my fault. I could have fucking changed it, and told him I loved him, but I didn't because I was a cowered. I continued to scream and cry until my voice began to waver and I passed out, next to my boyfriends body.

The next thing I know I'm waking up in hospital, still covered in Karkat's blood and I started to panic as my memories came back to me. I screamed loudly and a nurse came running in. She hushed me and then called in my Bro to talk to me. He informed me that I was in hospital for trama.

That same day, I escaped from the hospital and stole some morphine pills, the loss of Karkat hurt too much to bare and I couldn't do it any longer. I was found a couple of minutes later and was taken back to the hospital ward where I went into surgery to save me. I then escaped the next day with a sharp utensil used for surgery and cut up my arms and my wrists and then I was going to cut my neck when I was found again. I was then diagnosed with depression and was assigned to an institution for the mentally insane.

I don't talk now, or cry. All I think about was the time I was most happy, when I was with my boyfriend. I do sometimes have conversations with him and I do feel sorry for his brother and sisters, but they never come to see me. I heard that my Bro had died in a car accident but I wasn't allowed to go to his funeral. That had taken the last of my spark, if I had any. In the end I completely gave up with everything, and John had given up with seeing me now. But, out of everything, I can't remember what Karkat looks like. I can't remember for the life of me, but I do get visits every day from someone with black messy hair and urban eyes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the hits and comments and kudos you give me for every single one of my works...I just...
> 
> going to hug my Dave plushie and cry....


End file.
